What defines Obscurity?

Could you live a life of Obscurity?




Is it possible?

I mean a life where there is nothing specific, or concrete, or tangible.

No meaning what so ever?

Now with that in mind, lets explore this concept in the realm of dating.
I think that I have found myself in a relationship with obscurity.
Most of the girls I have either liked or been involved with, I wasn't.....correction, we were not quite sure why we liked each other. We just understood that we did.
And for once in a relationship, she wanted to keep our relationships closed. So no, other flirting or activity with the opposite sex other than us two. I wanted this, and throughly enjoyed this, with the past relationships. It was a change though, and since we were each others only commitment we also needed to find a reason to motivate us.

I mean, think about it for a second.
WHat is your favorite food?
.............did you think about it?
Now, why do you like it?
It's taste, texture,....maybe even something that happened one time you ate it before?

That's what we couldn't figure out. But we knew that we were attracted to each other physically and personality wise. We knew that we liked each other.

Even though this sounds all liek negatives, there were actual positives in this mishap. When we did eventually break up it wasn't a difficult, and bad break up. Because we still had each other as companions carrying the features we like in each other. Relationships in general haven't been very productive for me.

I think it's because I fall into that catergory of guys who are thoughtful but are too thoughtfull so I can't fulfill the women's secret urge to be edgy at times. I mean, I guess we all like excitement. I guess it's that whole Emo Guy In Me. Whatever works for you, right?

On a seperate topic however, what is with mainstreams need for all things Emo?

I mean when I see Fall Out Boy finally getting attention, thats fine, I'm happy for them. But when theire song is on a Verizon Wireless commercial, and some BodyBuilder is banging his head to "It's not a Scene, It's Arms Race," that bothers me a little.

Even beyond that, on the show Drake and Josh, on Nickelodeon, One of the lead teenager stars wears girl pants.....oh for goodness sakes. Also, when I see stars on the Disney channel wearing girl pants to be fashionable, I just become sick.

I remember the days when guys wearing girls pants were ridiculed by everyone. In Jersey, during the beginning, I remember the days when everyone wanted to start a fight. Then the first time I saw girl pants worn in my state, was by Best Friend Josh (No reference to the Show, heh). And even then he got a bunch of flak for it. But I guess when you put anything on someone attractive, they make those clothes look attractive. Aren't those the point of models anyway? Now it has become this cultural phenon.

Ah, well, I must end this abruptly for I can finish some much needed work,
I will be back later however, to update on some other issues within some parts of my local scene. Hope you can't wait.

Everything thing I think I am, but never what I say

I am a filter.



In all forms and idealogies. A filter of personality, ideas, and beliefs. But aren't we all? Never fully open, composite rocks in this world of marble? Ultimately, we are like a Glazed Krispy Creme Donut. Our core is average, nothing spectacular, but our falsetto voices that we play out our lines, are the glaze that covers the monotone script of our lives. Blogging is the thing to do now I guess. I'm not quite sure what made it explode like it has, but it does invoke sudden amersesive instances of nostalgia. I remember the days when it made since to do a livejournal, because I didn't have to worry about anyone discovering this identity of mine. Ultimately, with everyone knowing about livejournal, my privacy over the years has depleted. This is why I keep this blog here, to somehow invite a new instance of privacy for myself. Blogs, or journals online allow for you to take on the image that you can't portray in real life, and feel this type fo proper existence. Instead of being a gaggle of improper integrals, on a three dimensional plane (trying to discover and cover the gaps of our self-expression). Since my life is relatively closed in by either parents or school, I have developed this other "secret life" I guess one would say. It mostly contains all the activities or people that are catalyst to my hidden personality. I have become so easy to made a target, I have grown a distrust for mostly everyone, and a small form of misanthropy. When ones in my family see me, or people at my school, I say "hello" and "bye" and smile to pass the day. It's not that I hate all of them, its just that I have learned that individuality makes a pretty concept, but if you aren't strikingly gorgeous then individuality creates ridicule.



King of Scene, is my name.

But it is only what I think. For a period of years I have watched various scenes progress in the "scene", mostly an outsider that knows everyone within it, but never a key player. Well, that is a lie. I was once a large part of it, but I told people that I went by a seperate name from my real one. Also, my friends in New Jersey know me by a different name but there we all go by secret names. There I am Neophyte. We all understand how we must escape from reality sometimes, and this is how we take care of this parameter in our lives. Anyway, back to the original subject. I am not in a general since the King of Scene, but in my sense of measuring what it takes to be King, {I am King}. The Scene is not just teenage chain smoking, trendy clothes wearing, making out, alcoholic binges waiting to happen. The Scene is a source where kids like me can express our own individuality in a group of appreciation. Within the outlines of this, contains the music aspect, the dress aspect, the jargon, and the lifestyle. People say that it seems like nothing but a bunch of drone skinny guys in girl pants, and skinny girls with oversized/overdyed hair. From the outside of the bubble that is what it is, but only being apart of it do you understand. But I wouldn't have it any other way. The less corporate the scene becomes, the happier I am. This rant as some would say, is just an opening to what this blog for me will be. It will be essentially me, getting out all the secrets of my life, and hoping the ones who reads this, embraces it.